PCOS = (im)Patiently Coveting (atleast) One Sweetpea a.k.a. Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome

I was diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome in August of 2012. This hindrance of a condition had been the reason for my husband and I not conceiving. It also ended up being the reason for my weight gain, discolored skin on some parts of my body, constant fatigue, and other random gross things. Got to love being a girl!

In January 2013 I was approved for a clinical trial our fertility specialist was working on. It was a clinical trial....DIET....dun dun duuuun. It happened to start in February.... Like the week before Lent commenced. The diet consisted of: no grains, no starches, no sugar, no dairy, no fun, no taste, and no happiness. My husband and I were dreading it. Aaron decided try the diet out with me to show support. After explaining the diet to a few of my friends (and when I say explain, I really mean complain) my friend Melanie called it the "Saint Diet". This had a nice ring to it. So Aaron and I went full force ahead with our new Saint Diet and actually came to love it. It's much similar to Paleo with a few modifications. We underwent the trial for 8 weeks. We both lost 30 lbs. We tried many new recipes and felt great. For the first time EVER, I had a diet that I actually liked, I actually ate, I was never starving, and I was energetic! Aside from the weight lost and energy, I was so happy with the results of my lightening of my skin discoloration and smoothness of my rough patches. These things had given me such insecurities through life. After reading blogs and forums of women with PCOS, it was a bit comforting to know I'm not alone.

I will also tell you aside from the greatness of weight loss and normal skin, one of the most important outcomes of the Saint Diet was the closeness that came from me and my husband. We prayed a few novenas during the 8 weeks, we went to confession often (withdrawals of carbohydrates can make one crazy) and we prayed together. It was a beautiful time in our lives and it paved a great way for us to know that we were in it together. I needed that closeness. Struggling with coming to terms with having this condition left me feeling very alone. After having a breakdown one day about being cursed with this condition and finding out everyone around me was newly pregnant, I found myself in bed for a few days looking through old emails because I had nothing else to do and didn't want to get out of bed. I came across a "Saint of the Day" email from CatholicOnline.com and the saint for that day was "St. Mary Magdalene of Pazzi". After I read about her and her devotion to Our Lord and how she fasted often, I took comfort in this. I too was fasting for something greater. I also took great comfort in her prayer:

Saint Mary Magdalene de Pazzi, pray that we will make a commitment to seek the presence of God in prayer the way you did. Guide us to see the graces God gives us as gifts not rewards and to respond with gratitude and humility, not pride and selfishness. Amen

I needed to hear this. I needed/need to remind myself constantly that God's graces are not rewards. I don't deserve them. He gives them to me because He loves me and He gives them to me on His time, not mine. I have to remind myself that what I do in life is to glorify Him, not to receive rewards. I need to remember that he isn't rewarding others either. I actually have to remind myself of that often. I more times than not find myself thinking "ugh, why is she pregnant?! They don't even go to church!" What is wrong with me?! (Don't answer that!) Anyway, I pray that someone, someday finds comfort in this the way I did.  It's gotten me through several of my low moments when the yearning of a child and the cross that comes with it is unbearable; or at least I think it is.
 
Anyway, between the diet and our spiritual fulfillment, we've  really tried to continue to try to stick to the plan as much as possible. We of course have splurges here and there (liiiiike the yummy fondue dinner date we had on Saturday) but you've got to have splurges now and again. I strongly urge women out there with PCOS who are overweight and struggling to lose the weight and/or conceive, watch your diet! Research it! While there's not a cure, there are definitely ways to help reduce these symptoms. I plan on adding yummy recipes as I stated in my last post. And also: pray. I couldn't have gone through all of this without Him. You shouldn't either. Till the next time...

-Laura